What a year it has been. Ups and downs....busy with art...and sometimes not so busy at all. It seems like every year around this time I sit back and reflect on my business, and how we have done the past twelve months. Somewhere along this crazy art path that I have chosen, things started to shift. I began wondering if I even wanted to do this anymore. At one point I was ready to close the doors on Carla's Funky Art....and let a new journey begin. Find a full time job, and quit trying to work part time, and do an art business. God knows that now is not the time to get into this with the economy in the tubes. Don't get me wrong, I am so appreciative of all my fans and people who have supported my crazy unconventional bright art. Fact of the matter is, it is a lot of work and not much pay. It is hard to find the time to paint, raise kids, go to my real job, try to market myself, and find time for me. (Geesh, it sounds like I am whining) Dan and I got into an argument a few weeks back about me not raising my prices for my paintings. The worst part is that we never fight about anything. All the sudden it was about making money....and not about making people smile or doing what I love anymore. This business was never about making millions, it was about being able to do something you love, and share it with others.
I felt so uninspired, I didn't feel like painting anymore, and it broke my heart to fail at something that I loved so much. It is hard to have hundreds of people walk by your booth and not even notice. I mean let's get real folks, I am not a famous artist...heck, art galleries wouldn't even look twice at my crazy art. I am pretty much a nobody who likes to paint funny bright things. I thought about all those kids who would walk by my art booth and smile...or the random chuckle from a passerby. No, my art isn't for everyone, and it tends to be one of those things that either"get it" or you "don't." These paintings surely aren't going to match your couch!
I needed to figure out what I was going to do. I decided to actually splurge on myself and I went out and bought a HUGE gallery canvas. I just needed to get lost, to find myself again. I holed up in my studio for days and I just painted. I painted for me. I didn't worry about what anyone thought, or what "funny" thing I should paint, I didn't even want to think. I rubbed paint all over my fingers and "smooshed" in onto the canvas. I took big huge bold strokes and I just let it all out. I let myself get lost and I let go....It felt good, really good. I had no idea what I was going to paint, and I didn't even care. I did a lot of soul searching while I painted on this......one thing I realized is that I love what I do...everything about it..... the feel of the paints, how it makes me sad when my favorite brush gets old....getting paint on my brand new jeans....and finding paint in my hair three days later. I do want to keep this little art business going.....I want to do it for me. It is hard work, and it does take a ton of time, but I love it.....it is a part of me. It makes me happy......it pays for the art supplies....and I can keep painting, and you reading this, can keep smiling....
There are so many things I love about my painting. It captures the essence of me....everything from the daisies, the coffee beans and the grapes....it is busy, bright and bold, just like me..... and it makes me feel brave. Did you ever wonder what I would look like on a canvas? Well here it is.....one crazy, bright, hippy, daisy! :)
Here is my painting in progress: